Camp Noissap
by Nailed
Summary: Heinous Slytherin and his two apes againt the Boy Who Lived, Red Head and The Brains.... see what happens. They go to camp... lots of fun, romance and D/H
1. Welcome Back

Camp Noissap  
  
Chapter One: Welcome Back  
  
Disclaimr: I wish!  
  
It would be the trio's fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Except, this year would be different. Dumbledore had sent every student in 4th year and up a letter telling them that there would be camp this year. He rambled on and on in the letter how muggle like it was, and how Hogwarts should do more muggle related things. Most people were surprised and excited, others groaned and thought it was balderdash. One person who was particularly thrilled was Hermione Granger. She had been to camp ever since she was seven. She packed her last few belongings, following the list of supplies needed.  
  
"Got plenty of muggle clothes... knickers... yeah Im all set."  
  
Harry and the Weasleys were very excited as well. Harry had sepnt all summer at Ron's house watching camp tapes that the Weasley's had rented.  
  
"Herm, hon.. a few bites than we've got to get a move on!" She heard her mother calling fom downstairs.  
  
"Yeah mum, just...trying,.....dammit!" She was sitting on her suitcase to get it closed, knowing she had over packed. When she finally heard the click, she sighed with contentment. Quickly looking in the mirror, brushing a few strands of hair back to place, she'd seen how much she had changed. Her hair was still full, but wavy and controlled. She was rather shapely, all the right stuff in all the right places. As always, she had dimples when she smiled, and since the year she shrunk her front teeth... she could open her mouth knowing that she didn't look like a chipmunk. She was some what taller, standing at 5'6" as well. One thing that would never change though, were her caramel eyes. They were warm and strict at the same time. She shook her head, gradually coming back to reality. Grabbing her suticase, she sprinted downstairs skipping steps as well.  
  
"Slow down pumpkin, you won't be late." Mr. Granger assured her kindly.  
  
"I know dad." She grinned and seized a piece of toast, putting it in her mouth like a doggie, still holding her suitcase tightly."  
  
"Remeber", Mr. Granger shouted after her, "Chew and swallow!"  
  
Not paying any attention, she met her mother outside. She took the suitcase and plopped it in the trunk. "Oh I know you'll have fun."  
  
"I know I will, I haven't been to camp for a long time... Harry and Ron will love it!"  
  
@---  
  
After a tedious and anxious ride to the station, Hermione nearly fell head first into the crowd. "Do be careful Hermione!" Her mother cried worridly.  
  
"I know m...." She began but saw her two best friends running towards her. "Harry, Ron!" She caught them in a group hug. They were hesitant at first, but eventually hugged her back. "You can't imagine how much Iv'e missed you two!" She nearly squealed.  
  
"We've missed you as well Hermione... oh we've got to tell you about some of the movies we rented.." Harry grinned with delight.  
  
As she said hello to everyone else, she noticed a blond headed, heinous, half-wit standing with his two cronies. "Malfoy.." She murmerd wrathfully. Even though he hadn't said or done anything to her yet... she wanted to slug him. He looked up to meet her glare and smirked, quirking a brow. "Evil bastard."  
  
"Hermy?" her mother questioned.  
  
"Yeah, thanks for driving me mum, love you... later!" She gave a quick hug and grabbed her suitcase and other belongings.  
  
As the three walked, they began to talk. "Hey Herm, ever hear of poison ivy the camp movie? Will we have to sneak over to the girls side of camp pretending to be girls?" Ron inquired. Hermione knew that this would be a loooong ride to Hogwarts.  
  
"No, Ron."  
  
"Will we get poison ivy?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Will we fall madly in love with the nurse?"  
  
"Er...lets hope not."  
  
"Will there be a seductive camp counselor wife?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Will Micheal J Fox be there?"  
  
"Ron!"  
  
"Sorry...."  
  
Shaking her head and laughing a bit, they stepped onto the train and into their favorite compartment way in the back. "I'm afriad to ask.. but, what other camp movies have you seen?"  
  
Harry chose to speak after the display of moronic quesions Ron asked. "Hmm.. there was Camp No Where, Heavy Weights, Posion Ivy, and Ron's personal favorite.... The Parent Trap." He chuckled.  
  
"I don't know what your talking about.." Ron's face reddened... "It was a lovely movie." He sounded very serious.  
  
@---  
  
After many more questions such as 'Will there be twins switching places?' They all filed out of the train. Hermione could feel a tall presence behind her and couldn't help but glance over her shoulder.  
  
"Can't keep you eyes off of me eh Granger?" Draco Smirked... it seemed like that was all he did, hurl unwanted comments and smirks!  
  
"You dropped your pocket"  
  
"What?" he looked around on the ground, as she laughed mercifully. He just snarled at her and pushed her and the dream team aside, cutting everyone else as well.  
  
"Whats his problem." Ron gave off a confused look.  
  
"Do you even need to ask?" She commented.  
  
"True, true." 


	2. I Want My Mommy

AN: Yes! Ive got my first review!! Thank you thank you thank you. Sorry, just a little excited. And I wont seclude them in the middle of the forest... well, I dont know yet but I dont plan to. I hate it when people murder their characters character completely and I won't do that. I also want to say that there is a swear word in this chapter, because I just couldnt help myself so little kittys beware!  
  
Camp Noissap  
  
Chapter Two: I Want My Mommy...  
  
As they all finally filed out of the train, they could here Hagrid booming "Firs' years, firs' years over here." It brang back memoies preveiously forgotten over time. The carriages approached, awaiting to take them to their destination. As Hermione made her way over to the next carriage with Harry and Ron trailing, something or someone swiftly and cunningly stepped in front of her, blocking her way.  
  
"Excuse me, this is OUR carriage." She put her hads on her hips and gritted her teeth. The person turned around.  
  
"It's ours now mudblood." Draco Malfoy and his idiot imps laughed as if it was a big joke or something.  
  
Not wanting to show weakness and take his crap, she shoved him hard in the side. He hardly moved from the spot he was standing. "Poking me won't do you any good." He took a step into the carriage.  
  
"Hermione, just let it go, we'll get the next one." Harry tried and restrained her.  
  
"I don't think so." Hermione extracted her arm away from Harry and made towards the carriage. Forcefully she pulled the back of Malfoy's cloak. This time he plunged to the wet ground. Smiling, Hermione saw this as an oppurtunity to make even more of a point. "Why thank you Malfoy for giving up the carriage for us." She smirked even more as she stepped on him, making her way to the carriage opening.  
  
"Ron.. Har...." But before she finished something suddenly yanked at her ankle, having her toppling over. Both boys hurried over as the two blockhead bafoons just stared. Ron helped her to her feet, the blonde chortled quietly.  
  
"I win Granger, I always win.. learn to not go through PMS on my time." Malfoy brushed himself off as his two moronic minions followed him into the carriage  
  
"Im sick of that prat!" Hermione bellowed angrily.  
  
"We all are, but we always win the quiddicth cup, and we always manage to nab the house cup out of his grubby little hands." Ron reassured her.  
  
"I know Ron, but thats all group stuff. The quidditch team manages to beat the Slytherins... all of us Gryffindors always pummel the Slytherins when it comes to academics and attaining the house cup. It's never just getting Malfoy, it's his whole house! I just for once would like to surpass Malfoy at something where he can't blame his little reptile mates." Hermione pouted but with determination.  
  
"We will Hermione... at camp Noissap we'll get a chance to do so." Harry smiled comfotingly. Just then, another carriage approached and they stepped in.. cautiously.  
  
@--  
  
"Draco...what's PMS?" Crabbe questioned, like the idiot he was.  
  
"Shut up will you!"  
  
"Yeah Crabbe... it's obvious, just sound it out p...pu....pumus... there." Goyle grinned triumphantly, until he met Draco's cold glare.  
  
"It's premenstrual syndrome you insufferable simpleton!" Draco brought his two hands to his temple, trying to massage the stress away.  
  
"I knew that..."  
  
"Does it look like I give a flying fuck?" With a gulp, the two turnips looked like they were about to cry. "Imbeciles..."  
  
@---  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione's carrriage arrived at the castle, right when the sorting hat ceremony began. There were few new Hufflepuffs, and even less Ravenclaws this year. There were some Gryffindors, and mostly everyone groaned when nearly more than half of the new comers became Slytherins.  
  
"What is happening to the world as we know it?!" Ron cried out, followed by snickers from his fellow Gryffindors.  
  
"I know what you mean, what if they all turn out to be slimy gits like Malfoy..." Hermione winced.  
  
"Herm, I think it would be good for you and the rest of us if you didn't mention his name... it's only going to lead to you being placed in an assylum..." Harry suggested. Hermione just nodded solemenly and began eating.  
  
"Attention, I have an announcment" Dumbledores voice could be heard at the front. "As you all well know, or at least 4th years and up know... there will be camp this year. All of you should have recieved letters listing what you should have brought and other important information. Students will be leaving for Camp Noissap in exactly a week from today. For 3rd years and younger, I am sorry to say, schedules will be normal and Camp Noissap may be available to you all in the not too distant future." With that last comment, groans, and the occasional boo, came from the unlucky students that would not be able to go.  
  
"How long are we staying?" Ron questioned, not to anyone in particular.  
  
With an exasperated sigh Hermione answered... "Ron, I suggest that you read the ENTIRE letter next time... there could have been something important and YOU would have missed it."  
  
"Sorry your royal bit-" Ron was cut off .  
  
"A month."  
  
"-iness" He finished. "Thank you."  
  
Her only reply was a roll of the caramel eyes. Sometimes Ron could get on her nerves to the point of wanting to strangle his little, freckled neck. At least Harry was brighter with more common sense.  
  
@---  
  
Draco glanced over at the Gryffindor table. He saw the Granger girl rolling her eyes more than once. Abruptly something interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"What are you two bafoons doing now?" Draco drawled.  
  
"Give it back!"  
  
"No, It's mine!"  
  
"Goyle... " Crabbe started whimperng, "Your so mean...I want my mommy."  
  
Draco looked at them with pure disgust. "Why must father insist on keeping these cretins for 'friends'...." Draco muttered under his breath, while moving a piece of meat back and forth across his plate with his fork. At the sight of Crabbe waving his hands about trying to get his object back, Draco snatched it from Goyle. "Unbelievable... Crabbe, are you seriously whining over this." He held up a ratty old teddy bear with one eyes missing and fluff sticking out of its bum. "Pittiful..." He threw it at, not to, Crabbe... he would definitely have to wash his hands later.  
  
@---  
  
Observing the scene from the other side of the Great Hall was the dream team.  
  
"Wow, Malfoy sure does have some canny friends..." Harry laughed at the shabby bear being thrown, nearly hitting Crabbe smack dab in the face. The three stood up, letting out paroxysms of laughter right in front of the Slytherin table.  
  
"Does Crabby need his teddy so he can get some sweep tonight?" Ron used his baby voice.  
  
Crabbe replied, and said what he thought was something that Draco might say. "I have servants to sweep, Weasley." He sat straight up, trying to look dignified.  
  
Hermione had to bend over to keep herself from falling backwards with the spasms she was going through. "Malfoy, what can I say..they learn from the best!" And with that they left the Great Hall and made their way to the common room.  
  
"Sometimes those dunces make it too easy for us." Harry said, just getting over his last laugh attack.  
  
"You can say that again." Hermione wiped a small tear from her eye. 


	3. Camp Buddies

AN: Thanks for the reviews! And it really does help me continue. Any suggestions.. flames.. and comments (I like those the best lol) are welcomed. Thanks again!  
  
Disclamier: If I owned anything important.. I wouldn't be here! :)  
  
Camp Noissap  
  
Chapter Three: Camp Buddies  
  
@---  
  
"Hey Draco, why were they laughing so much?" Goyle questioned stupidly.  
  
"Shut...up." Draco gritted his teeth. He would have to get back at Golden Boy and his friends... or maybe he just wanted to give the Mudblood a run for her money. Whatever he was going to do, it was going to not only hurt her mentally but phsically and emotionally as well. An evil grin spead across his face slowly.  
  
"What is it Draco?" Crabbe asked.  
  
"What is this, 20 questions!?" Crabbe just hugged his teddy closer to his chest, while Draco stood up abruptly, walking towards the door. Looking back, he saw the two dim wits still chowing down. He always knew that food was their number one priority.  
  
Making his way down the dungeons, he stopped suddenly at the sounds of laughter illuminating through the halls.  
  
"What did you expect, Malfoy IS a blonde." Granger snorted. "But it still amazes me why he hangs out with those two... it doesn't add up. After all, he is second in our year... of course after me." She just had to add that last coment.  
  
"No-it-all bitch." He muttered.  
  
"Maybe he uses them to just seem smarter. Or his daddy bribes, or better yet blackmails and threatens the teachers to give him good grades." Ron reasoned.  
  
Draco just wanted to jump out and slug the red headed weasel. "How dare he insult my intelligence."  
  
"I actually feel sorry for the conceited prat, do you think he even has any REAL friends?" Harry questioned, already knowing the answer.  
  
"Lets name off the Slytherin reptiles, shall we? Pansy Parkinson kisses his ass, she's completely head over heels for the git. Goyle and Crabbe, their too stupid to even know what a friend is. Ask them and they'll say a muggle TV show. The quidditch team loves him money. Blaise Zabini and the rest are just afraid that he'll kill them all one day. The closest to a real friend that Malfoy will get is his bleach and hair gel." Hermione finished off with a slight laugh, brushing her hair off her shoulder.  
  
"Touche!"  
  
At this moment, Draco stormed down the stairs. It took him every ounce of his being to not lunge at that inept Mudblood. Oh, he would get her back. No friends.. psha! He had plenty of friends! there was.... er... um... that guy who... okay so he didn't have many friends, but he didn't really need them. "Simpletons."  
  
@--  
  
The day before they left, Dumbledore made a last announcement about the camp trip. "Cabins will not be co-ed.." Many groans were heard. "Now now, I dont want any of that. You will all still be able to interact with the opposite sex..." Much whistling... "You know what I mean... any hoo, see your head of house for your cabin number and group. You may all go back to your common room."  
  
As they all walked back, many murmers crossed through the crowds.  
  
"I'm going to die without girls."  
  
"Whats a cabin?"  
  
"What's camp?"  
  
The prefects lead the Gryffindors back to the common room, "Alliteration," And they walked through the portrait.  
  
"Okay Gryffindors," McGonagall began, "Listen for you names. Each cabin holds three students. I'll announce girl cabins first... Kristen Quail, Winifred Waite, and Lady Lambert cabin one. Virginia Weasley, Tara Taggart, and Dawn Dale in cabin two. Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil and Hermione Granger in cabin three...."  
  
@--  
  
"Complain about the cabin arrangements and I will make sure that there will still be potions class at camp." Snape threatened. "Adrain Pucey, Marcus Flint, and Terence Higgs, cabin one. Yardley Youngblood, Nate Naylor, and Pierce Padden in cabin two. Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle cabin three...  
  
"Oh joy." Draco muttered under his breath.  
  
@--  
  
"Harry Potter, Ronland Weasley, and Neville Longbottom cabin ten. George and Fredrick Weasley and Lee Jordon cabin eleven. Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, and Seth Vail in cabin twelve... well, those are all of the cabins. Girls, the cabins that match your number on the boys side of camp will be your camp buddies, and boys.. visa versa. I hope you all have a very pleasant experience at camp Noissap." Then McGongall headed up the stairs muttering something. They only caught a few words such s "Lots of galleons" and "better have fun".  
  
"I wonder who are buddy cabin is..." Hermione was talking with Lavender and Parvati.  
  
"Well, it's no one from Gryffindor, that's for sure."  
  
Hermione shuddered then laughed. "What if were paired with a Slytherin cabin!" The two other girls began guffawing as well.  
  
"Don't put images in our heads now 'Mione!" Lavender joked.  
  
"Not that Malfoy's that bad looking." Parvati added with a grin.  
  
"He's an ugly ass to me."  
  
"God Hermione, if you didn't have that Slytherin Gryffindor war going on..."  
  
"He's an ugly piece of shit with hair, eyes and unfortunately a mouth.. that's all he is and ever will be! End of story.. good night."  
  
And before they could say another word, she was up in the girls dorm asleep. 


	4. Note

Erm..sorry, check out chapter four next chapter, sorry. 


	5. Around Here We Say Birds Not Bitches

AN: Sorry about not posting...  
  
Camp Noissap  
  
Chapter Four: Around Here We Say Birds Not Bitches  
  
@--}--  
  
Hermione woke up with a start... "Parvati, Lavender..get up!" She screamed. She ran over to their beds, but they were empty. "Guys?" Checking her watch, she noticed the time. It read eight fifty..meaning she had ten minutes to get dressed, groom herself, and eat. She pulled on her robes... backwards... combed her hair with her toothbrush and tried brushing her teeth with her index finger. Running down the stairs, suitcase and another bag in hand... she nearly tripped in several different places. She looked at her watch, eight fifty-seven. When she entered the Great Hall, it was empty. She grabbed a roll from the Gryffindor Table from a basket in the center... and hurried off to the Quidditch Pitch. Eight fifty-eight...fifty-nine..... "I'm here!"  
  
"With one minute to spare, wait to go Miss Granger." Snape smirked sarcastically. Hermione hopped onto the magical flying bus after handing her suitcase over to be put away.  
  
"Hermione!" Lavender and Parvati smiled.  
  
"Thanks for waking me..." Hermione said in her sweetest voice.  
  
"Don't mention it!" Hermione furrowed her brows and took a seat by herself across the aisle from Harry and Ron.  
  
"What took you so long 'Mione, did you forget about the trip" Ron asked. "Oh.. and this thing is so tiny... wouldn't it have been easier to take the train? Oh and will the candy lady still come by?"  
  
"No, no and no." Hermione said grumpily, slouching further into her seat.  
  
@--}--  
  
"Mister Malfoy, you're late!" Snape checked his wizard watch. "Ten minutes late!"  
  
"Sir, I..." He looked at Jannie Jordan, a fellow Slytherin, who was pulling her robes straight and trying to flatten her hair while joining her friend. "Overselpt."  
  
"I see..." Snape sneared. "Get in."  
  
Draco stepped on the... 'Bus, what the bloody hell is this?' It was on the brink of overflowing with young wizards and witchs all chatting away. Crabbe and Goyle were sitting together... Zabini and Jordan... Higgs and Flint... Parkinson and Bulstrode... all of the Slytehrin were paired up. 'Even that Loony girl has someone to sit with.' Draco thought darkly.  
  
"Malfoy, please sit down, we're about to leave." McGonagal warned.  
  
"There are no more seats." Draco crossed his arms. "Don't they have a special compartment just for me?"  
  
"NO, now take a seat... there must be.. ah yes.." McGonagal smiled and pointed to the seat across from Harry and Ron and next to...  
  
"Granger?!!!"  
  
"Yes." McGonagal answered. Hermione turned around at the sound of her surname. Someone was saying it with much annoyance.  
  
"Can't I just ride on top of the, what was it, bus.. under it... hanging off a window..anything but the torture I will be subdued to." Draco was getting desperate.  
  
"Sorry Mister Malfoy."  
  
"Can't I just ride along side it with my broom?"  
  
"No."  
  
"On a golden snitch?"  
  
"No."  
  
"On a bludger?"  
  
"No.. and that's final.. we HAVE to go... take your seat or I will be forced to take away points AND give you detention while everyone else is having fun..understand?"  
  
"Yes you old hag." Draco muttered.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"Yes ma'am." Draco staggered dramatically towards Hermione. "Switch."  
  
Hermione turned from the window. "Excuse me?"  
  
"You're excused, now switch."  
  
"What are you talking about Malfoy?" Hermione quirked a brow in confusion.  
  
"I don't want to be seen by passersby with the likes of you.. and besides PotWead, the siamese twins are annoying to stare at."  
  
"Then don't stare at them and don't sit here." She turned back around.  
  
"I have to.. it's the only seat left." He gritted his teeth with disgust. "What happened to you Granger? Did you roll in something dead?"  
  
"No you prat, I woke up late.. and I'm not moving... and you can't sit next to me." She put her bag on the seat next to her.  
  
"Seats empty now." Draco smirked as Hermione snapped her head to him, he was dangling her bag from his index finger. She tried swiping it, but she had missed. "Switch and I'll give it back."  
  
"No..." She looked over the prats shoulder at Ron and Harrry..they hadn't even noticed what was happening.  
  
"Is there a problem here?" McGonagal tapped her foot at half standing half bending Draco and a sneering Hermione.  
  
"He took my bag." Hermione pointed at Draco.  
  
"She won't switch with me." Draco pointed at Hermione.  
  
"Malfoy, give her her bag back.. and sit down." McGonagal instructed with that tone that said "final warning". Draco did as told, reluctantly and McGonagal used the voice charm to make her voice bigger. "Students, quiet down.. we will be leaving in five minutes.. now that everyone is here." She gave a slight glance to Draco, who was covering his ears from the booming of McGonagal in his ears. "It will take us four hours to get there, that is all."  
  
'Four hours with..it?' Draco tugged on the ends of McGonagal's robes before she was out of reach.  
  
"Yes...?" She asked in a tired, bored voice.  
  
"You wouldn't happen to have any fire whisky would you?"  
  
An: I know it's short, probably has some typos.. but I had to post ASAP..sorry..review! 


End file.
